An authority is a person who can tell you more about something than you really care to know.
An Imaginary Conversation Between Rep Matt Shea (WA-R); Rep Vito Barbieri (ID-R) and Ted Nugent (FKTARD-R)
Shea: Whoa, Ha!
Barbieri: Yeah! Argh!
Nugent: Fuckin' kill a deer and a libtard!
Shea: Ho! Ha!
Shea: Collapse! Society Kill Kill!
Barbieri: Bad! Eat squirrels! YUM
Nugent: Fuck Squirrels with a broadhead dipped in DYNAMITE. WANGO TANGO
Barbieri: Fighting the city people! Yeah!
Shea: Hell yeah!
Nugent: Bait 'em with foodstamps HO HO
Shea: HO HO Yeah
Barbieri: HAHAHA and peanuts!
Nugent: Penises for the libgays! hahaha Kill Elk Yeah!
(it goes on a lot longer but this was the part with the most elucidated exchange of ideas regarding the pre-apocalyptic visioning and strategic planning of certain Northwest GOP representatives)