You left out a hoongadoonga. The most important one, too.
Naah naah naah naah, hey hey hey, goodbye: Craig resigns
OK, just finished watching the live feed of Idaho Republican U.S. Senator Larry Craig announcing his resignation, effective September 30th. A few thoughts:
• Governot Butch Otter, Stuperintendent of Public Education Tom Luna, Idaho Rethuglican Party chairman Kirk Sullivan and the stupidest man on the planet able to breathe on his own without mechanical aid, Congressman Bill "Brainfade" Sali, were standing behind Craig and were acknowledged during his speech.
That these guys showed up to (allegedly) support Craig was better orchestrated than the Boston Pops. I do not believe, for one minute, that these four mental giants came up with this on their own. I'd guess this was planned by Rethugs a lot higher up on the food chain -- say, the RNC and those laughable louts in the White House.
Somebody wanted people, besides Craig's family and staff, up there to try to keep the Republican Party from looking like the completely heartless goons that they are. The Republican Party tied Larry Craig to the tracks and ran him over with the biggest locomotive they could find, then had Otter, Luna, Sullivan and Sali show up for the cameras afterward to pat his shiny head and say "there, there" in a sympathetic sort of way.
• A joke I'm sure you'll hear in the near future: Otter, Luna, Sullivan and Sali stood firmly behind Sen. Larry Craig, but refuse to allow Craig to stand firmly behind them. *BA-da-BUMP!*
• Craig still refuses to acknowledge that he has sex with men. I wrote a couple of days ago that Craig will never, to his last dying breath, admit his homosexuality. Craig's not just bricking himself up into that proverbial closet for the rest of his life, he's having it hermetically sealed and dropped into cement.
• He got cheered by many in the crowd when he announced his resignation. (See d2's post below.) We Dems and progressives in Idaho don't despise Sen. Larry Craig because he's gay (unlike Idaho and national Republicans) but because -- politically, and based on votes and positions he's taken for over 20 years -- he's an asshole. Yer damn right they cheered.
• Why wait until September 30 to officially resign? Probably because Governot Otter's office phone and cellphone are ringing off the hook with right-wing clowns jostling for position to be christened as the next nutjob senator from Idaho. Lt. Gubbernor Jim "Munchkin" Risch still has the frontrunner position, but I won't yet say it's a mortal lock.
• Craig said he couldn't be an effective senator for Idaho while trying to handle his legal avenues, i.e., he can't handle the media spotlight while trying to convince the Minnesota courts that when he pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct he was actually "just kidding." As someone on TV pointed out, when you fill out the form that says in effect, "I admit I am guilty," the later defense that "I had my fingers crossed" goes right out the window.
All in all an interesting news conference. I'm sure over the next couple of days we'll hear leaks about what really went on behind the scenes leading up to today's resignation.
Auf Wieder-freakin'-bye-bye, Larry Craig. Don't go away sad -- just go away.